{redeeming love continued...}

I shared this on my photography blog by accident... I thought I was posting it here...anyway..I am going to leave it there just in case someone needs to read it ;)

Isn't that a lovely song? It's such a touching love song.....I want to share the lyrics with you:

The More I seek You
The More I find you
The more I find you
The more I love you

I want to sit at you feet
drink from the cup in your hands
lay back against you and breath
feel your heartbeat
this love is so deep
it's more than I can stand
I melt in your peace
it's overwhelming.

I've just finished reading the most amazing book! Called "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers. My friend Tammy gave it to me and I read all 464 pages in two days (yes they were two looooong nights). I couldn't put it down.

I really don't know where this post is going i just feel compelled to share my thoughts random as they may appear.....typing it out here I am so overwhelmed. (The lump in my throat is getting bigger and the tears have started to form in my eyes.)

Can I just be completely honest? I love my husband dearly! He gets me...like no one else. There are days when we ask each other how we got so lucky.....and there are days we have to stop and remind each other that we are married and not supposed to have so much fun. Then one of us will pick a fight which will end in both of us saying goofy things to one another and rolling in the floor laughing and snorting (of course it's HE who snorts not me ;). Sometimes our love is too strong...If I begin to think about what it would be like to loose him I struggle to breath and sometimes actual physical pain accompanies. He swept me away when I wasn't looking. My heart still races so fast when he walks into a room. Every time he kisses me I still feel a rush of emotions.....like a silly school girl with her first kiss. He does that to me. I am madly and deeply in love with him and would be lost without him. But I am weak.....

As much as I love my husband there is another I cling to. The One who will never let me go. It's His arms where I find my strength. I look to Him...I need Him more than the air I breathe. Everything I am cries out to Him. (oh goodness tears are steaming my face). And just like the song says.....the more I seek Him the more I find Him. The more I find Him the more I love him.

His love is so deep, it's so precious it's so pure...and I am not worthy of it yet he gives it freely...a stream of it that's alive...a stream that never runs dry. It surrounds me. And He assures me that He will never leave me or forsake me. It's my hearts desire to be close to Him. But it wasn't always this way... Once, I was ashamed...I was bitter and blemished. I was soiled by a past that wouldn't let me live it down. It followed me everywhere holding me captive. Some of the guilt was forced upon me by people who were supposed to watch out for me....some of it was a result of my own actions. I couldn't imaginee anyone could ever see me as anything but how I saw myself. But He did. And He opened his arms and beckoned me....He wanted me...He made a sacrifice for me. I couldn't believe it. After all...he was a KING! and I was just a nobody with a seedy past. But I was drawn to Him. I was profoundly moved by His sacrifice.....He gave His only Son to die....so that I could live in His palace.

As I received His invitation and began to trust again I felt the fear dissolve...My walls began to come down...I began to cast off anger and guilt and pride that I thought was rooted into my foundation....and he began to re-build me. He showered me with His Spirit and I felt clean for the first time in a long time. He gave my husband to me as a gift...a partner that He had intended for me all along....even before I came to Him. I am still not worthy and will never be but I am grateful for His mercy and grace. I owe everything I am to Him for He is my beloved and I am His. I know He is the one who will never leave me.

I have been in an atmosphere of worship a good part of the day...no I didn't attend church...you needn't always go to a building to worship. I sat right here on my computer editing wedding images and listening, singing (trying to sing) to Him. And while worship is about what I offer up to Him....today He has given back to me. I am so enamored by Him... As I was editing and worshiping I created this image and added text. It was perfect for what I was feeling...How I was moved by Him and I wanted to share it here on my blog so I came to add it and then this novel I've shared poured out from my heart and prompted my fingertips to dance over the keys until I had typed this. I started to delete it but then I didn't. I hope if you've made it this far that you have been blessed and that you'll reach out to the One who will never leave you.

~Dejah~

(please click for a larger version...it is really quite beautiful....a moment I caught at a wedding last weekend as the bride and groom shared their first dance)